A lot is going through my mind regarding the idea of “non-attachment.” After attending powerful Dharma talk by the celebrated Guiding teacher Gina Sharpe last night, the words “ What are you going to do with your time?” resonated in my brain. These words flowing around. So much to say.
Recently there was some big news in the fashion world about the suicide death of a very talented designer L'Wren Scott, who also happened to have a 13-year relationship with Mick Jagger. He cited her as his best friend. Jagger, along with countless others are devastated by her death. Now from the outside looking in, this is some shocking stuff. Let's list the American Dream right here...she was beautiful (former model), talented ( successful designer), owned her $5.6 million fab NYC Chelsea apartment outright, her long-time boyfriend is one of the most famous rockers in the world and is worth an estimated $305 million dollars. One would ask....what could be the problem? Isn't beauty, brains, talent, fame and an uber-rich boyfriend a stereotypical American girls “glamorous life” dream? Come to find out she was in $6M in debt and wanted a family of her own, but no one knows what was the motivation for her to take her life. When asked, her longtime housekeeper said...”She always dreamed about having fame, fortune and money. She had all that in her hands with him.” This really resonated with me. The proof is in the pudding time and time again. Our capitalist world view is f**king people up, not to mention what's it's doing to our earth. One couldn't possibly have a more quintessential glamorous life than L'Wren Scott....yet she was suffering big time. Fame and fortune is touted as the pinnacle of success in America. As a young girl, I myself thought this false premise too. The American Dream needs a makeover!
I do struggle with the Buddhist notion of “non-attachment”, the idea of releasing worldly desires and attachment to much of anything, which inevitably is the cause of suffering. But how? I want it all. The fabulous life...love, family, rich friendships, material luxuries, travel, financial security, good health. The concept of letting go of desires, in the cosmopolitan life that I live is rather challenging. The remedy? Cherish each moment. The now. Each experience. For what it is. In our fast paced, technological driven world, this is a difficult task. I'm always striving, but I need to remember to STOP and cherish all the moments of my life. If I do this, attempt to find the beauty in the tedious or annoying details of adult life, as well as the great stuff, when the shit hits the fan & really bad things happen, I will have to tools to deal, with a sense of calm and compassion. I've already experienced this truth, but there is a lot more work to be done.
As I listen to vintage Sade, my thoughts are reminiscent of her lyrics in “Cherish the Day.” I laugh as I site Buddhist thought, then drop some Sade...
Cherish the Day
I won't go astray
I won't be afraid
You won't catch me running
Now Sade is reflecting on some deep love affair, but the words can still resonate with our daily outlook on life. What is life without love?
We must strive to cherish our lives. The beauty is in the details. Release ourselves from attachment to preconceived notions of the good life. The good life is right now!!! No matter what is going on. No matter what you want to shift in your life. The good ol' days is actually right now.